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Monday, 29 February 2016

Revealed! The Most Dangerous Sex Position That Can Break A Penis

By On February 29, 2016


Black-couple
A study has revealed the most penis-endangering sex position and found that sexual intercourse with ‘woman on top’ is potentially the riskiest position related to penile fracture.
This will dismay the 23 per cent of people who, in an Ann Summers poll last year, said this sex position was their top choice.
The research, published in Advances in Urology, concluded: “Our hypothesis is that when woman is on top she usually controls the movement with her entire body weight landing on the erect penis, not being able to interrupt it when the penis suffers a wrong way penetration, because the harm is usually minor in woman with no pain but major in the penis.
“On the contrary, when the man is controlling the movement, he has better chances of stopping the penetration energy in response to the pain related to the penis harm, minimising it.”
This doesn’t absolve the kinkier couples though.
FRACTURE
‘Doggy style’ and ‘man on top’ were the second and third most likely sex positions to result in a fractured penis
Emergency records at the three hospitals studied showed that more adventurous positions were responsible for half of all penile fractures.
The researchers found that ‘doggy style’ is behind 29 per cent of afflictions and ‘man on top’ is also responsible for 21 per cent.
Doctors and academics looked at patients attended A&E with suspected penile fractures over a 13-year period. Of the 44 men who attended hospital, 42 were diagnosed with a fractured penis after undergoing clinical, radiological and surgical evaluation.
The majority of men had injured themselves during heterosexual romps (28).
Four were during homosexual intercourse, six were caused by “penis manipulation” and four cracked penises were sustained in “unclear” circumstances.
In 80 per cent of cases, the men lost their erection which leaves an impressive 20 per cent who pushed through the pain to get over the finishing line.

Story Of Nigerian Couple Who Got Married In IDP Camp After Boko Haram Separation Has Gone Viral

By On February 29, 2016

The story of a lovely couple, who reunited and got married after being separated by Boko Haram is rocking the Nigerian Internet.

BokoHaramCouple

Ibrahim and Hauna John were engaged and due to wed when their homes were invaded by insurgents and both were forced to flee.

In a photo story shared recently by United Nations Children’s Emergency Fund (UNICEF), the engaged couple were miles apart after the attack, Hauna fled to Minawao camp, Cameroon while Ibrahim stayed in Nigeria to complete his school exam.
BokoHaramCouple3
The newlyweds were reunited in the refugee camp after being separated for a while. “I was worried when he was not here. … But the very [day I] saw him in the camp, I was very happy,” said Hauna.

 
“I had to hold her to my cheek. … Heaven was very close to me that day,” said Ibrahim of their reunion. The bride and groom say they plan to start a family, not minding the difficulties they are likely to face.
BokoHaramCouple4

No Eagles Return For Me - Emenike

By On February 29, 2016
 No Eagles Return For Me - Emenike
Former Super Eagles striker, Emmanuel Emenike, has dismissed reports on a possible return to the Nigerian senior national team.
The 28-year-old, who had 37 caps and nine goals for the Super Eagles since making his international debut in 2011, announced his retirement last October when Sunday Oliseh was still in charge of the team.

However, with Oliseh’s departure, there have been reports that the West ham forward is considering a return to the Eagles.

Speaking in a recent interview with Sportinglife, the former Al-Ain striker said: “I’m done with the Super Eagles, and I am making it clear again that I am not going back.

“It’s my decision and I am not going to reverse it, I am sorry if I have offended anybody regarding this but no Eagles return for me..

“Like I said, I didn’t quit because of anybody, it was a personal decision. Oliseh didn’t force me out of the Super Eagles as it was reported, I don’t need anybody to speak with me before I take a decision. It was my decision and I won’t reverse it.”

“I want to focus on my career and play better for my team. Right now, I’m happy because I am playing my game and everything is working perfect. I can always wish Super Eagles well because I have been a fan for a long time.”

Emenike’s West Ham host London rivals, Tottenham on Wednesday in the English Premier League.

Gov Dickson’s Abducted Sister Regains Freedom

By On February 29, 2016
 Gov Dickson’s Abducted Sister Regains Freedom
Nancy Dickson, sister to the Bayelsa State Governor, Seriake Dickson, was on Monday, freed by her abductors.
The 26-year-old who is the last child of the Dicksons, was abducted on December 19, 2015 by gunmen.

She was kidnapped after the December 5, 2015 governorship election in the state and a few weeks to the January 9 supplementary poll, which Dickson won and became the re-elected governor.

After the gunmen seized her at her shop on Okaka Road in Yenagoa, the state capital, they reportedly drove off in an ash Lexus Jeep to an unknown place.

According to The Punch, a ranking official of the Bayelsa State Government confirmed the incident but said official statement would be released soon.

Details later…
Source: http://www.thewhistler.ng/story/gov-dickson-s-abducted-sister-regains-freedom

‘Naira Heading For Exchange Rate Of N700 To A Dollar

By On February 29, 2016


‘Naira Heading For  Exchange Rate Of N700 To A Dollar
Due to the persistent free fall of the value of the Nigerian currency- Naira- the Lagos Chamber of Commerce and Industry and the Association of National Accountants of Nigeria, on Friday, called for the review of the country’s foreign exchange policy.
According to the two professional bodies, if Nigeria doesn’t review the current exchange policy, the naira would continue to crash. As at Thursday, the Naira was trading at N391 to $1 at the parallel forex market.
President, Association of National Accountants of Nigeria, Chukwuemeka Nzom, while speaking in Ilorin, Kwara State, said the fall of the Naira had adversely affected financial and economic activities in Nigeria as well as financial institutions.
“The current crash of Naira is affecting everybody and institutions including banks and accountants because it is leading to galloping and hyper-inflation. Prices of goods and services have gone up.”
 Meanwhile, the LCCI Director-General, Muda Yusuf, said Naira would exchange for N700 to a dollar if the foreign exchange policy was not reviewed.
“The current policy is concentrating only on the management of demand; it is not addressing the issue of supply. I am not talking about supply from the sale of crude oil because there is not much we can do about that. But there is a lot we can do about supply from other sources, from export proceeds, from our people in the Diaspora, from multinational companies that need to bring forex here, from donor agencies that have projects here that they need to execute in Naira.”
“These are other channels of supply, but if our policy is not right, the supply from those sources will not come. The only way to encourage supply from the other sources is to liberalise the influence in those areas. If people bring the money in, let them exchange it at the market rate and not at the rate that the Central Bank of Nigeria has fixed.”

Our Affair With Oliseh: NFF Reveals All

By On February 29, 2016
Our Affair With Oliseh: NFF Reveals All
Nigerian Football Federation, NFF, has released an official statement stating its side of the story after erstwhile coach of the Super Eagles, Sunday Oliseh unceremonially resigned from his job on Friday.
The NFF on Monday revealed how Oliseh was tolerated by the football governing body throughout his short reign as the Chief Coach of the senior national team.
The statement which was made available on the website of the NFF reads:
“In order to clear a lot of falsehood that has been making the rounds in sections of the media following the resignation of Coach Sunday Oliseh, the Nigeria Football Federation has decided to make a statement regarding events relating to the employment and resignation of the Super Eagles Coach.
First of all, the NFF would like to state that contrary to what few members of the media would have Nigerians believe, the appointment of Mr. Sunday Oliseh as Head Coach of the Super Eagles was thoroughly thought-through; it went through a meeting between himself and the Technical Committee and was ultimately approved by the entire Executive Committee of the NFF.
The NFF had the best of intentions in hiring Mr. Sunday Oliseh, and despite the misgivings about his temperament (he himself alluded to this at his unveiling) he was seen as a bright young Coach able to take the Super Eagles to new heights. This view was premised on his resume, (having played in various countries around the world), his undoubted football knowledge and his currency of ideas (being a respected former Super Eagles Captain and a member of the FIFA Technical Study Group).
The fact that from Mr. Oliseh’s perspective, the relationship had gone so awry to the extent that he resigned his appointment is unfortunate because despite the temporary financial difficulties which crept into the relationship in the last four months or thereabouts, the NFF Executive Board with its penchant for long term planning took a long term view of his appointment and remains confident that with a little more patience on the part of the Coach, things would have turned around for the better in the long run.
The NFF seizes the opportunity to apologise to Nigerians for the situation that we, through no fault of ours, find ourselves, but assures the teeming Super Eagles supporters that we shall patriotically remain committed to the success of the team. This is already evidenced by the swiftness with which we have reconstituted the coaching crew and received the assurances of the patriotism of the Super Eagles players who have vowed to fight for the Nigerian flag and spirit, and ensure that not only do we qualify for the African Nations Cup but also that our long term goals are not derailed.
The NFF gives the foregoing assurances despite the circumstance which has arisen with the untimely resignation of Coach Sunday Oliseh and despite the fact that the decision was taken unilaterally without discussion with NFF or any of its officials or board members, without giving the requisite one months notice as stipulated in his contract immediately after he was paid his arrears of salary and housing allowance after his request to travel across Europe to visit potential call ups for the matches against Egypt was approved by the President of the NFF and; despite the fact that we have crucial qualifying matches to play next month.
With regard to the various allegations made against the NFF by Mr. Sunday Oliseh in his letter of resignation and in the media, the NFF as a responsible organisation feels the need to this once respond to those allegations as follows, and thereafter continue with the job at hand without any further distractions:
Mr. Sunday Oliseh in his letter of resignation and in various reports has talked about not being respected, and not getting the support of the NFF. The NFF categorically denies these allegations and notes that from the time of his employment the NFF had always shown him respect which, unfortunately, not always reciprocated.
In order to encourage him, to exhibit an intention to put the issue of financial disagreements with coaches behind the Federation and to help the new Coach quickly settle down, the NFF proceeded to pay him three months’ salary in advance – something that had never happened previously in Nigeria football.
The NFF introduced him to our principal partners/sponsors in order to show that the Federation had total regard for and was fully supporting its coach. The President thereafter reiterated the vision of the NFF board and its mandate to the new coach to build a new and vibrant team that the Government and people of this country would be proud of. The NFF has since then allowed him to carry on his duties without interference. The NFF also purchased for Mr. Oliseh a brand new car to ease his movement locally whenever he was in Nigeria.
With regard to the allegation that he was not supported, it is pertinent to note that Mr. Oliseh himself had on numerous occasions expressed gratitude for the support he had received from the NFF and in particular from the NFF President and Vice Presidents. The NFF makes bold to say that he has been supported throughout his short tenure as the Super Eagles coach. Not only have his requests and choice of training camps been accepted, his choice of players have never been interfered with, his choice of venues have all but once been accepted and even where not accepted, an explanation was promptly given which was duly appreciated and accepted by the coach.
Only a few minutes before sending an email intimating the NFF of his resignation, Mr. Oliseh had written a mail to the NFF President about his trip across Europe to see players, which the NFF President had approved the day before.
For the competitive matches against Tanzania, Burkina Faso and Swaziland that the Super Eagles played away from home under Coach Oliseh, the NFF despite its financial constraints flew the team by chartered aircraft at the request of the coach.
It is pertinent to note also that, despite its financial constraints, the NFF acceded to Coach Oliseh’s insistence on camping the CHAN team in South Africa. His show of appreciation was to go on air to talk about spending his money to buy food for the team in South Africa. The truth is that the team stayed at a world -class facility where buffet feeding had been arranged. Coach Oliseh opted to buy Nigerian food for the players on two occasions, without alerting the NFF or the hotel management. Food meant for the team on those two occasions went to waste.
In support of Coach Oliseh and in a bid to give him some confidence regarding the issue of finance, the NFF top echelon traveled to Rwanda at their own expense along with the Minister of Youth and Sports, in order that the coach and the team would have the opportunity of hearing first-hand from the Minister the challenges the NFF was facing with regards to funds. The Minister told the team clearly that the financial problems were not the fault of the NFF and promised to do his utmost to resolve it forthwith.
After the CHAN championships in Rwanda, the Technical Committee requested for the usual technical report of the Championship but Coach Oliseh wrote a terse email back to the secretary of that committee stating that he did not report to them.
Even though by the terms of his contract he was obliged to return to Nigeria at least 2 weeks to any Super Eagles match and is obliged to watch our domestic league matches from time to time, one can count how many local league matches he has watched and one can point out that he did not return to Nigeria before he went to the CHAN championship on the grounds that he was ill. Yet, he went to South Africa and Rwanda but did not return with the team to Nigeria.
The NFF has accommodated these only in support of the ultimate success of the coach and the team.  On resumption, Coach Oliseh wanted to sack the entire backroom staff of the Super Eagles including the media officer saying that he could not work with them. A potentially messy situation was aborted by the firm position of the General Secretary and the President on the matter. The coach virtually tore the team apart with his impulsive style of man management, for example if not for the way the NFF President and Vice Presidents handled the matter, his disagreement with erstwhile captain Vincent Enyeama would have seen all the senior players quit the Super Eagles.
Contrary to the terms of his contract, Coach Oliseh went on air several times to talk about the NFF’s finances and in a derogatory manner. He went on air to insult Nigerians in what is now known as his ‘YouTube rant’ wherein he made serious allegations against the Nigeria media, which he has failed to substantiate. In it, he also noted that he didn’t want the job of the Super Eagles Chief Coach but was prevailed upon to accept it.
From the foregoing, it is clear that without claiming to be perfect and working under considerable financial difficulties, not only did the NFF support Mr. Sunday Oliseh in his capacity as Chief Coach of Super Eagles, it actually showed lots of restraint in the face of aggravated impulsive behaviour by the coach bordering in some cases on insubordination.
In closing this Statement there are a few things we must point out:
We find it strange though that, after complaints of non -payment, Mr.Oliseh waited to receive monies owed him before resigning. Two days before his resignation, he had passionately appealed that we unite as one force to fight the battle on the football field with the Egyptian national team. We had no idea he was selling a dummy.
For the avoidance of doubt, Mr. Sunday Oliseh resigned and was not sacked. We bear no grudges against the coach and wish him well in his future endeavours.
We have heard strange talk of “instability in NFF.” How can there be instability in NFF simply because an employee chose to resign? The Executive Board of the NFF has resolved to accept his resignation and has responsibly gone ahead to accept the recommendation of the Technical Committee in replacing him temporarily with competent coaches.
We have now moved swiftly beyond the issue of the resignation of Coach Oliseh and like responsible business -minded administrators we are now thinking about the 2017 Africa Cup of Nations qualifiers, with the immediate business being the hosting of the Egyptian national team in Kaduna and playing them in Egypt towards the end of next month.
We thank the teeming patriotic supporters of the Super Eagles, seek your forgiveness if we have done any wrong, ask for your understanding of the very difficult financial situation under which we are working and above all request your continued support and prayers.”

PDP Handed Nigeria Over In A Better State Than It Met Nigeria - Soludo

By On February 29, 2016
 PDP Handed Nigeria Over In A Better State Than It Met Nigeria - Soludo
Every team serious about ‘change’ starts with a clear identification of the baseline from which it measures deviations/progress. Nigeria has had 16 uninterrupted years of democracy with the PDP controlling the federal government as well as majority of the states. APC is now in charge at both the centre and majority of the states. A minimum standard for measuring ‘change’ is the extent to which APC government beats the record of the PDP in measurable terms. As the saying goes, if you can’t measure it, you can’t improve/change it!
Government must strengthen the National Bureau of Statistics (NBS) and preserve its independence to produce and publish credible national statistics. It needs serious funding. I really wish our policymakers can be a little less careless or casual about the use of official statistics. I criticised the last government for relying on ‘estimates’ by World Bank staff instead of the NBS statistics. When I hear the narrative so far in the media by the new government regarding the economy, I take it largely as the kind of ‘usual propaganda’ new officials deploy to show that their predecessors “did nothing” and therefore lay the ground for claiming that they are “doing everything for the first time in our history”. Fortunately also, there are many people as well taking a hard look at the numbers and recording scores. At AfriHeritage, we are developing a template for measuring government performance. As Nigeria has largely evolved into a two party state in a democracy, I prefer to frame the discourse on the baseline as ‘PDP’s legacy and the APC’s challenge’!
Since it is the practice to blame the PDP for every ill that befell our country in the last 16 years (and there are many of them) it is also fair to credit them with the positive ones. According to data from NBS, one outstanding legacy of the PDP is that in 16 years it held sway, it more than doubled the GDP of Nigeria (indeed with average year-on-year GDP growth rate in excess of 6% over the past 12 years, the GDP actually doubled within the last 12 years. It met average annual growth rate of about 2% and raised it to 6-7%, led by the non-oil sector. Yes, non-oil sector, and the “diversification” reported in the recently re-based GDP happened within the last 16 years. Will the economy more than double in the next 12 years under the APC? For me, if only the APC can double the size of GDP from about $550 billion to $1.1 trillion in 12 -16 years, and further half the poverty index, Nigeria will indeed be on course to be one of the largest 10 economies in the world by the end of this century.
As at 1999 when PDP came to power, Nigeria was largely a pariah state still lucky to have survived as one indivisible sovereign, especially in the context of the struggle by NADECO and restiveness in many parts of the country. On corruption, Transparency International scored it 1.6 out of 10 and ranked 98 out of 99 countries in 1999. Nigeria was listed among four countries that were non-compliant on the anti-money laundering rules by the Financial Action Task Force (FATF). We could not service our external debt and relied on stressful rescheduling, with all the intrusive donor conditionalities. Poverty was estimated at 70%, and unemployment at nearly 20%. The 1990s will go down in our economic history as the decade of stagnation: when per capita income growth was zero. [b]Average oil price in May 1999 when President Obasanjo took over was $15.24 while stock of reserves was about $5 billion.
After 16 years, several challenges remain and some have even worsened (especially insecurity). Although President Jonathan’s regime had the worst economic management relative to the resources at its disposal, it must be stressed that tremendous progress was made in the aggregate 16 years of PDP government. Yes, it should have left more than $100 billion in reserves but left only $30 billion (still about six times of what it met). We also wish that Jonathan’s team did not leave Nigeria with unprecedented rate of debt accumulation.
But, according to statistics from NBS, the PDP handed over a $550 billion economy (largest in Africa and 26th in the world), with 7.5% unemployment rate (better than European Union, France, Sweden, Belgium, etc although the underemployment figure is much higher); 32%?? poverty rate (as claimed by the former Finance Minister, or 61%??: NBS needs to clarify this claim); a stock of reserves of $30 billion; GDP growth rate averaging 6% over last 12 years; a relatively more diversified economy, with ICT penetration from 0.2% to over 60%, and a new contributory pension scheme now with trillions of Naira in pension fund. Our external debt is down although total debt stock is escalating. Our Gini coefficient (degree of inequality) is not different from China’s.
Nigeria has consolidated and stronger banking system that currently finances both government debt and the private sector, with a relatively vibrant capital market. The capitalization of the Nigerian Stock Exchange grew from less than N1 trillion to N12 trillion as at handover. For the first time, Nigerian economy is now rated by credit rating agencies (Fitch, and Standard and Poor’s). Even on corruption perception, Nigeria is far better today than in 1999, and PDP created the two major anti-corruption agencies— ICPC and EFCC, and as at 2014 TI scored Nigeria 2.7 and ranked 136 out of 175 countries.
PDP secured debt relief for Nigeria, thereby relieving Nigeria from the stranglehold of the IMF/World Bank policy conditionalities. APC does not have to negotiate with Washington on many economic policies. The list is long. [b]The point therefore is that despite the fall in oil price, APC is starting from a much stronger base than PDP did in 1999 and the challenge now is to do far better. In the coming years, Nigerians will be asking APC to show us their figures!

How To Be A Clueless President, By Femi Aribisala

By On February 29, 2016

How To Be A Clueless President, By Femi Aribisala

Femi AribisalaFemi Aribisala
Instead of giving Nigerians the change you championed, give them excuses. Blame Goodluck Jonathan for everything.
In six years of Goodluck Jonathan’s presidency, the opposition told us again and again the man was “clueless.” It made sure the tag stuck to him like glue. But now we have a new sheriff in town, with the APC claiming to be better at everything than the PDP. While that might still be subject to debate, there is overwhelming evidence that in the cluelessness department, the PDP is certainly no match for the APC.

Here is a compendium from the APC textbook of cluelessness, provided within barely one year in office. If you want to know how to be a clueless president, this is the APC blueprint.

Blame GameInstead of giving Nigerians the change you championed, give them excuses. Blame Goodluck Jonathan for everything, including the harmattan. Whenever you make a blunder, pass the buck to the former president. If there is petrol shortage, blame it on Goodluck Jonathan. If the budget is dead on arrival, blame it on Goodluck Jonathan.

In the middle of an economic crisis, promise to provide Nigerians with free education; free meals daily for millions of Nigerian public school-children; free tertiary education; free health-care and free houses. Facing a drastic drop in Nigeria’s income, declare you will be giving grants of $1.5 billion a year to Nigeria’s poor. When you fail to deliver on any on these highfalutin promises, blame it quickly on Goodluck Jonathan.

BlundersForget the name of you vice-presidential running-mate. Call him Yemi Osunbade instead of Yemi Osinbajo. Tell President Obama the name of your political party is the All Nigeria’s Peoples’ Congress when it is All Progressives Congress. Call your party on CNN the All Progressives Confidence.

Tell Al Jazeera INEC means Independent Nigerian Electoral Commission instead of Independent National Electoral Commission. Even though West Germany ceased to exist in 1999 and the current German president is Joachim Gauck, refer to German Chancellor, Angela Merkel as “President Michelle of West Germany.”

Destroy INEC by turning it into a National Commission for Inconclusive Elections. Go to the United Nations and give rousing speech about fighting Boko Haram, then fail to attend the crucial meeting on Boko Haram at the same U.N. session. Tell the Americans the Chibok girls were abducted from their “hotels” instead of their “hostels.”

Tell Nigerians there is nothing like petroleum subsidy. Then as president, announce the removal of the non-existent petroleum subsidy. Claim Jonathan diverted $700 million from the $1.1 billion Chinese loan for the Lagos/Kano rail project when only $400 million was earmarked for Lagos/Kano rail. Announce that foreign exchange can now be paid into domiciliary accounts without specifying if depositors will be allowed to withdraw them.

Anti-corruption rigmaroleDeclare that you will kill corruption in Nigeria while being surrounded and bankrolled by corrupt politicians. Then invite those with corruption allegations hanging over their heads into your cabinet. Maintain: “Jonathan’s ministers stole 150 billion dollars.” But fail to prosecute them for stealing $150 billion. Tell Nigerians $2.5 billion was stolen by the PDP through Dasukigate, but charge people to court for stealing no more than $100 million.

Believe that trying members of the PDP for corruption on the pages of newspapers amounts to waging a serious war on corruption and is a substitute for national economic policy. Say: “We cannot build an economy where corruption is the working capital.” Then declare to no effect that recovered stolen monies will be used to revamp the national economy.

Insist Abacha never stole any money, and then probe the PDP for the mismanagement of the non-existent Abacha loot recovered from abroad. Fail to recognise that with the official exchange-rate at N198 to $1, while the parallel market rate is $305 to $1, you have created the widest parallel market margin ever recorded in Nigeria’s history of Nigeria and laid the foundation for widespread corruption in the banks.

Accuse the opposition of using public funds to finance its election campaign, but fail to disclose where you got the money to finance your own very expensive election campaign. Claim to be so cash-strapped, you had to borrow N27.5 million to pay for the presidential nomination papers of your party; then state in your assets declaration that you have N30 million in your bank account. Commend INEC for running the ostensibly free and fair election that brought you to power; then challenge in court every election conducted by the same INEC that your party lost.

ContradictionsClaim you inherited an empty treasury in spite of the over $30 billion left in our foreign reserves. Say you met no money in the treasury, then spend N2.2 billion on a four-day junket to the U.S. with no agenda and with nothing achieved.

Say: the federal government of Nigeria is: “the biggest Boko Haram.” Then become the head of the federal government of Nigeria. Declare grandiloquently: “I belong to everybody and I belong to nobody.” Then say: “The constituents (that) gave me 97 percent cannot in all honesty be treated on some issues with constituencies that gave me 5 percent.” Say you belong to everybody but ensure that your personal aides are virtually all Northerners.

Say: “I bear no ill will against anyone on past events. Nobody should fear anything from me. We are not after anyone.” “There will be no paying off old scores. The past is prologue.” Then send EFCC dogs after Elder Godsday Erubebe.

Say: “I pledge myself and the government to the rule of law, in which none shall be so above the law that they are not subject to its dictates, and none shall be so below it that they are not availed of its protection.” Then seek to replace the rule of law with the rule of fear. Go on national television and tell Nigerians you will not be obeying the courts in the cases of Dasuki and Kanu. Interfere in the judicial process by publicly declaring your enemies guilty without trial.

Tell Christiane Amanpour on CNN that you will defeat Boko Haram within two months if elected. Then say you did not say so. Declare that you will defeat Boko Haram by the end of December 2015, then say you only meant to defeat it “technically” after it unleashes mayhem on Maiduguri while you were busy celebrating its fictional defeat.

Say: “Boko Haram is a typical example of small fires causing large fires. An eccentric and unorthodox preacher with a tiny following was given posthumous fame and following by his extra judicial murder at the hands of the police.” Then send troops to massacre hundreds of Shiites in Zaria. Involve Nigeria in a Middle Eastern regional struggle between Saudi Arabia and Iran by joining the Saudi led anti-terrorist coalition. Open the door for wider terrorist attacks on Nigeria by killing Shi’ites in the North while the Saudis execute Shi’ite mullahs and prisoners in Saudi Arabia.

Prosecute avoidable wars on several home-fronts: against Boko Haramites in the North-East; Shi’ites in the North-West; Biafrans in the South-East; and Niger Deltans in the South-South.

Nonsensical policiesGrind the country to a halt by making yourself Sole Administrator of Nigeria for six months. Squander your vital first 100 days in office doing absolutely nothing; while receiving cheers as “Baba Go-Slow.” Present “body language” as a substitute for policy. Ensure that over N5 trillion is wiped off the Nigerian Stock Exchange within six months of your coming to office.

Promise: “I will stabilise global oil price.” Then watch as the oil price tumbles from $50 to $28 within eight months of your presidency. Also ball-watch as the naira tumbles to a record-breaking N305 to one dollar.

Declare when the country is broke: “I will provide one meal a day for children in public primary schools.” “I will make direct cash transfer of 5,000 naira to the 25 million poorest and most vulnerable citizens.” Propose through your Minister of Science Fiction to create 3.4 million jobs in Nigeria in 2016 through the production of pencils. Plan to have 365 cultural festivals 365 days a year under your Ministry of Culture.

Shout “chanji, chanji” while a large chunk of your party-members are turncoats from the same PDP that ruled the country for the last 16 years. Refer to ministers as noisemakers then establish a Cabinet of ministers. Take six months to choose a cabinet then come out with old cargoes. Tell Nigerians you delayed appointing ministers because you were looking for saints and angels, then appoint many known devils. Say: “The corrupt will not be appointed into my administration.” Then appoint those with corruption allegations hanging over their heads.

Delight in putting square pegs in round holes. Make Kayode Fayemi, who has a Ph.D. in War Studies, Minister for Solid Minerals instead of Minister of Foreign Affairs. Make Professor Anthony Anwukah, a professor of Education and a former vice-chancellor a Junior Minister to a journalist, Adamu Adamu, in the Ministry of Education. Make Solomon Dalong, a former Assistant Inspector of Prisons the Minister of Youth Affairs and Sports. Make Muhammadu Bello, who headed the National Hajj Commission for eight years, FCT Minister.

BudgetingPropose a N6 trillion budget in 2016 for a nation that failed to meet revenue estimates of N4 trillion in 2015. Predicate this on borrowing N2.2 trillion, which requires N1.2 billion daily to service.

Benchmark your budget on the price of oil being $38 in 2016, making it dead on arrival with the oil price falling to $28 within a fortnight of your budget presentation. Fail to anticipate that, once sanctions against Iran are lifted, the oil price will go further down as Iranian oil is added to the international oil glut. Allocate N40 billion to look for oil in the North-East in the middle of an oil glut when Nigeria needs to diversify from oil.

Within the framework of a drastic cut in Nigeria’s income, raise the budget for Aso Rock from N6.6 billion in 2015 to N18 billion in 2016. Earmark N3.6 billion for the purchase of several BMW saloon cars! Budget N1.75 billion for feeding in Aso Rock in 2016 when Jonathan only budgeted N530 million in 2015. Allocate only N29 billion to the Ministry of Agriculture, while earmarking N39 billion for the Ministry of Information and Culture.

Present the budget to the National Assembly without first scrutinising it. Present the budget with fanfare, then send someone to steal it from the National Assembly. Present the budget, then withdraw it after reading it. Remember this: when the budget fails, blame it on Goodluck Jonathan!

Ifeanyi Ubah’s Counsel: Naira Appreciates Against Dollar

By On February 29, 2016


Dr. Ifeanyi Ubah, Capital Oil CEO
Barely 24 hours after the managing director and CEO of capital oil, Dr. Ifeanyi Ubah, said he could ensure that the naira appreciates against the dollar in just one month if consulted by the federal government, the country’s currency tremendously boosted against the US dollar.
Before Ubah’s comment on Monday, the naira was quoted at N370, it however rose to 364 on Tuesday morning, closing trading hours around N340.

As at the time of filing this report on Wednesday, it was gathered that the naira was being sold below N300. Some sources claimed that the naira now sells at N240.

Recall that Ubah, who spoke on Channels TV said that if consulted by the federal government, he could restore the naira to 200 against the dollar in one month.

He said, “Look at the economy, look at the position of the naira today; some of us have ideas on how we can restore this.

“Do you know how many Bureau De Change people whose food has been taken out of their families because of this? If you say they are the ones causing it, then where are you today? It needs strategic management.

“It won’t take me one month, if you give me part of that consultancy, naira would come back to 200. I can bet my life with it, naira would come back to N200. If you call me for that consultancy, I would put naira back to 200.”

To further prove his claim, Ubah had dared the federal government to seize his N500 billion assets if he did not restore the naira.

“I am saying that I pledge every asset of mine into my pro­posal, if I fail to bring a dollar to N200 within 30 days, the feder­al government should seize eve­rything I have. I thank Mr. Pres­ident for not heeding the advice to devalue the Naira. I thank him and he should remain firm be­cause nothing has changed,” he said.

Ubah, in a statement on Tuesday, who noted that the currency is recovering due to his efforts said:

“Fellow Nigerians, I wish to thank you for the support and encouragement you have given me so far. It has been unprecedented.

“As at this evening, the Dollar has dropped further to N310 as against N390 on Sunday evening before my interview on Channels.

“This shows that the earlier increase has been artificial as some people were manipulating and benefitting from it. They will all be fished out in due course so that Nigeria will be better and the suffering of the masses will end.

“With God and our sincere efforts, even when we have not been fully consulted, the Dollar can still be brought down to N200 and below. Let the discourse continue. Shun the Dollar till it’s N200. Pray for Nigeria and let the Dollar go down to N200 and below.”

I Didn’t Know Why I Came To Rule Now – Buhari

By On February 29, 2016
President Muhammadu Buhari on Friday said that with the quantum of problems his administration inherited, he sometimes wondered why he had to seek power at this time. Buhari spoke in London while addressing members of the Nigerian community in the United Kingdom.
Our correspondent obtained a transcript of the President’s address to the gathering on Friday. Buhari said he wondered why oil, which used to sell for over $140 per barrel, would reduce to $30 per barrel during his time as the President.
Notwithstanding the problem, however, Buhari said he kept praying to God to be merciful to the over 170 million Nigerians who are exposed to poverty, illiteracy and other social ills.
He said, “With the problems we have in this government, I sometimes wonder. At least, this time around, I asked for it, I prayed for it, I went round the country and I asked for it. But the first time under the military, I allowed the military to take decision.
“But I say why me? Why is it that it is when they have spent all the money, when they made the country insecure that I returned?
“Why didn’t I come when the treasury was full? Oil price was over $140 per barrel and when I came, it slipped down to $30. Why me?
“I keep on praying to God to pity Nigeria and its over 170 million people who are exposed to climate change, illiteracy and poverty.”
The President, however, said his administration had succeeded in mopping up over N2.2trn as of January through the Treasury Single Account arrangement.
He said although the TSA was introduced by the administration of former President Goodluck Jonathan, that administration could not implement it for reasons best known to its officials.
He said his administration decided to implement the arrangement when he came on board and discovered that the country was broke.
The President said, “You know the condition we are in now. I am sure with demands from home, in spite of what your effort is, you know we are really in trouble.
“We have tried to impose what we call Treasury Single Account. The reason is simple. This government did not initiate it, it was initiated by the previous government. But it was so unpopular to the bureaucracy, so the previous government for its own reasons, could not impose it.
“But when we came and we found out that we were broke, we said this is the way to do it.
“I will tell you two examples to convince you. Firstly, the Nigerian National Petroleum Corporation had more than 45 accounts. Ministry of Defence had more than 70 accounts. Tell me which Accountant-General can trace all these accounts?
“So, we imposed TSA. By the end of December, coming to January 2016, we mopped up more than N2.2trn which would have been used through bureaucratic system to raise vouchers and sign cheques so that they don’t go into the next budget.”
The President said Nigeria owed the United States and Britain a lot of appreciation for stopping the former administration from rigging the last presidential election.
He recalled that ahead of the elections, the former National Security Adviser, Col. Sambo Dasuki (retd.), urged the service chiefs and the then Inspector-General of Police to tell officials of the Independent National Electoral Commission that they could not guarantee their safety during the polls.
He said the then Chairman of INEC, Prof. Attahiru Jega, however, gave a comprehensive report at a meeting of the National Council of State, where he said he would be able to deliver, at least, 60 per cent free and fair election.
The President said as of that time, the country had never gone beyond 45 per cent.
He said it took the intervention of US Secretary of State, John Kerry, for the last administration to conduct credible election.
He said, “Then we insisted that election must be done according to the constitution.
“At this point again, I must hasten to thank the United States for sending the Secretary of State, Kerry, to go and read the riot act to the previous government and speak to Prof. Jega, the Chairman of INEC and speak to us as opposition that the US would not tolerate any election outside the Nigerian constitution.
“They maintained the pressure from that date until after the election and the formation of the new government.
“I think Nigerians honestly should thank the US for this. The same thing with Britain, they used all their experience and their powers to make sure that the Federal Government did not rig the last election.
“We thank God, we thank these super powers and we thank technology. Why we thank technology is because of the permanent voter cards and the card readers.”
Buhari said the issue of Diaspora voting had been coming up in all the countries he had visited since the inception of his administration.
CREDIT: PUNCH
Source: http://www.thewhistler.ng/story/i-didn-t-know-why-i-came-to-rule-now-buhari#at_pco=smlwn-1.0&at_si=56d44a2bdcc692a8&at_ab=per-2&at_pos=0&at_tot=1

Ese Oruru Forced Marriage: Senator Omo-Agege Vows To Make Abductors Pay For Crime

By On February 29, 2016

Ese Oruru Forced Marriage: Senator Omo-Agege Vows To Make Abductors Pay For Crime

Ese Oruru Forced Marriage: Senator Omo-Agege Vows To Make Abductors Pay For Crime
The Senator representing Delta Central Senatorial District at the upper chamber of the National Assembly, Senator Barr. Ovie Omo-Ageg has declared and promised to guarantee the safe rescue of the abducted 13yrs old Ese Oruru who was kidnapped on August 12, 2015 by some Fulani/Hausa men in Bayelsa and taken Kano.
Senator Omo-Agege who made this declaration over the weekend when he met with the parents of the abducted girl on his invitation stated that “this is fight we must fight and win. Let me assure you that there is genuine concern, commitment, and diligence to pursue this matter to its logical end and get desired results. We will bring back our daughter Eseoghene Oruru from abduction.”
The Senator added that “Whoever did this came out to test whether our world still has a conscience. We will prove them wrong. It is impossible for anyone to do this and expect that the world will not object to it”
While commending the Media, NGOs and other groups for their positive efforts thus far in the Ese Oruru’s Abduction case, Senator Omo-Agege vowed that the Urhobo Nation as ably represented by himself will bring Mis Ese Rita Oruru back home to her family stating that:
“If those behind this crime thought we would accept or live with it then they are totally mistaken. If ordinary thieves cannot keep their articles of theft, we wonder how on earth anyone would ever conceive of keeping in perpetuity a human being who was literally stolen. It will not happen. This is a serious crime in our contemporary world. It shall be dealt with accordingly.”
“It is already a matter of huge national prominence. Indeed, it is taking a global dimension. In all, we will win because Ese will come back to the warm embrace of his loving family and persons of good conscience in this nation. The criminals will lose.”  He Added.
Source: http://www.thewhistler.ng/story/ese-oruru-forced-marriage-senator-omo-agege-vows-to-make-abductors-pay-for-crime

Measles Outbreak In Lagos Kills 20 Children

By On February 29, 2016

Measles Outbreak In Lagos Kills 20 Children

The Lagos State Government says laboratory investigation has shown that measles virus was responsible for the epidemic fatal Febrile Rash Illness, FRI, which killed 20 children in Otodo Gbame Community in Eti-Osa, Lekki area of Lagos, Southwest Nigeria.
State Commissioner for Health, Dr. Jide Idris disclosed this evening that the results of laboratory investigation had confirmed Measles Virus as the cause of the epidemic FRI.
“All the five blood samples taken to the Central Public Health Laboratory, Yaba tested positive for IGM, a blood marker for recent infection with Measles Virus. In addition, four throat swabs and one blood sample investigated at the Virology Reference Laboratory, LUTH indicated the presence of Measles Virus through Polymerase Chain Reaction (PCR) technique.
“The result of the well water samples analyzed at the Drug Quality Control Laboratory yielded several pathogens. This is an indication that the well water is not safe for human consumption,” he said.
He said so far, government's intervention had led to intensive awareness creation and community mobilization as health education was embarked upon and still ongoing through meetings and community dialogues.
He added that house-to house search for cases was carried out during which 34 children were line listed as Febrile Rash Illnesses., while 587 eligible children were immunized with measles vaccine and administered with Vitamin A and the parents were requested to retain their immunization cards.
“The epidemic has been put under control as no new death has been recorded and no newly infected persons since commencement of intervention by the Ministry. Also all the 34 cases line listed and managed by the government health workers have fully recovered. However, intensive surveillance and community sensitization continues.
“You may recall that I did mention during the last press conference that the government will conduct mapping of all slums and blighted areas in the State towards reducing the health hazards associated with such areas. The process for this mapping is ongoing. The people are hereby enjoined to join hands with the government in the identification of slums and in ensuring environmental sanitation at all times,” he said.
“Members of the public and health workers are to report any strange illness to the nearest health facility or call the following lines: 08037170614, 08055281442 and 08023169485. The Lagos State Government remains committed to the protection, promotion, preservation and prolongation of health of her citizens,” he added.
Source: http://www.thewhistler.ng/story/measles-outbreak-in-lagos-kills-20-children#at_pco=smlwn-1.0&at_si=56d449485848d450&at_ab=per-2&at_pos=0&at_tot=1

Nigeria Is In A Difficult Situation: Tinubu

By On February 29, 2016

Nigeria Is In A Difficult Situation: Tinubu

Nigeria Is In A Difficult Situation: Tinubu
The national leader of the All Progressives Congress (APC), Bola Tinubu, has said the country is in a difficult situation.
Tinubu stated this after receiving a honourary Doctor of Business degree at the 15th- 20th convocation ceremony of the University of Abuja.

The APC leader noted that for the country to be buoyant again, a vibrant agriculture sector needs to be established in order to produce enough food for domestic consumption and for export, while creating more jobs.

Tinubu said, “If you ask me to describe the state of the nation, I would say it is a difficult but encouraging one, we are emerging from a period of great moral uncertainty where vice and virtue were too often indistinguishable and too often confused, one for the other.

“The journey we have embarked upon will not be easy. It requires us all to make sacrifices and persevere until we achieve.

“Nigeria needs some fundamental restructuring both politically and economically. Not the constant tinkering and patch-patch we often resort to. We must therefore begin with fundamentally restructuring the economy if we are to rid ourselves of joblessness.

“Nigeria stands in the corridor between greatness and failure, progress and collapse, hope and despair. Our fate depends on whether we summon the courage to take the bold steps and move in the direction. We must turn our present challenges into opportunities for the re-engineering of our nation’s economic challenges. The university and our educational system have a role to play here”, Tinubu stated.

NIS Recruitment Scam: Abba Moro Remanded In Prison

By On February 29, 2016

NIS Recruitment Scam: Abba Moro Remanded In Prison

Abba Moro, Former Interior MinisterAbba Moro, Former Interior Minister
A federal High Court in Abuja has ordered that the former Interior Minister, Abba Moro and two others be remanded in Kuje prison custody till March 2nd.
The three accused persons were docked on an 11- count charge bordering on obtaining by false pretence, procurement fraud and money laundering, before Justice A.I Chikere, by the Economic and Financial Crimes Commission (EFCC), over the tragic Nigerian Immigration recruitment scam in 2014 which led to the death of over 20 applicants.

The EFCC accused the defendants of defrauding 676,675 Nigerian applicants of N676,675,000 (Six Hundred and Seventy Six Million, Six Hundred and Seventy Five Thousand Naira).

Each of the 676,675 applicants were charged N1,000 each for the participating in the recruitment exercise.

The anti-graft agency is also accusing the defendants of flouting the Public Procurement Act, No. 65 of 2007 in the award of the contract for the organisation of the recruitment test to Drexel Tech Nigeria Ltd.

Moro’s co-accused are Mrs. Anaesthesia Nwaobia, a Permanent Secretary in the ministry and a Deputy Director Finance, F.O Alayegbami.

After the 11 counts charge was read to them, all the accused person pleaded not guilty.

The prosecution, Aliyu Yusuf had made an application for a trial date and asked the court to remand the accused in the prison custody pending their trial.

In its ruling, the court held that an administrative bail granted the second accused person following request that she was a breast feeding mother.

Justice Chikere, however, ordered that the 1st and 3rd accused be remanded in prison custody pending the hearing of the substantive suit.

The case was adjourned until March 2, 2016.

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